however i smile, i smile the most

Happy birthday to me! Wow, 21. I seriously never thought I would make it this far. I remember back in high school, when I was probably 15 or 16, one of my friends asked me how long I would live to be, and I said 20. I thought there was no way I would make it past that. Well, I was wrong, and for the time being, I think that's a good thing. Lots of fun today-- casino, cake and family/friends. I will also probably never be able to make myself like alcohol. And you know what? Too bad. I'm having a little wine right now, and it's good, but not good enough to have another glass... nothing ever is. And I'm not going to force myself to drink just because other people think I should. I'm 21 now. I owe it to myself to be myself.

YES

Religious checker of CNN that I am, I have no idea how I missed this... but Jaycee Lee Dugard has been FOUND ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I saw the article title about "girl missing since 1991 found," I just got this feeling, thinking "what if it's her?"... and then I opened the article and alternately began to cry, clap and squeal. My poor sister is probably terrified. But all I can say now is...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I started looking at missing persons cases when I was... oh, 15, maybe? And everyone has "their case," and this was mine. I don't know why. But she just stuck with me, and I am so so so so happy that she is okay. My birthday is next Tuesday, and what a great early birthday present this is! I just can't believe it. =)

wow, it's been awhile

Not too much to say here. School starts soon, which is exciting.

You know what's not exciting (and I have been meaning to post about this for quite awhile?) I was watching E! the one night, and they had a missing/murdered persons countdown. Good concept, right? Always nice to get some names/pictures/stories out there. Well... not so good. Because the title of this countdown was:

"Young, Beautiful, and Vanished."

Yes... that's right... old, ugly people (and also, apparently, all men) need not apply. This is exactly what I was talking about when I did my speech on media bias in missing persons cases. I better get some plastic surgery and start praying that nothing happens to me, because I'm young (for now) and a woman, but I'm sure I don't fit their idea of beautiful. Can we please have a sequel called "Various Ages, Average to Below Average Looks, and Vanished?"

mini-vacation fun

Well, I am on another vacation... a short one, but a fun one. I'm visiting my sister, who happens to live in the same town as the college I'll be starting at in the spring (I'm switching campuses in the same university system.) I've been here since Saturday, and I'm leaving early tomorrow. We're having an awesome time. The campus here is so beautiful... it's exactly what you would think a college would look like. We even found some buildings that my sister, who went here, never knew about... with very ominous names. So we concocted our own theories about the sinister happenings that would take place in such buildings, until we went home and Googled them to find out they were perfectly innocent buildings. Or so they say...

Also, useless people who make me feel bad about myself even when they are not around me should stop. And maybe they shouldn't be able to "make me" feel bad... but they do, and I hate it. They should also stop making me second-guess myself. I usually do the right thing, and I did this time, and I know that. So all of those people can go far, far away. Please.

=)

i can't change the world, but i can change the world in me.

Well, I just got back from my vacation, and it was magical. Seriously... Delaware is beautiful. I loved all of the beach houses, and the little shops, and pretty much everything (except the five a.m. fire alarm.) I'd like to live there someday.

Also! Before I left! I went to the Salman Rushdie lecture, and it was so fun and cool. I got to go to a little banquet thing beforehand, and I met him and he asked me about my writing. He was very nice and funny. Did you know there's some kind of weird movie about him, where God kills him at the end!? I didn't know that until then. I'll have to find that movie someday.

Also, about legalizing marijuana to help the economy...

NO NO NO NO NO

So let's imagine the world if pot becomes legal. Well, the environment will be shot, but that's okay, because we'll be saving the economy!! But uh-oh, wait. What if that doesn't work? Will we be legalizing heroin and cocaine next? When my sister graduated college, she had a tough time finding a job. When I graduate, will my only job option be pot dealer? Or maybe I can start a career in the food industry to cater to all of the people with munchies. But wait-- if everyone else is off smoking pot, they probably won't show up to work, or they'll come to work stoned and be realllly productive... by which I mean, they'll probably sit in the corner and laugh.

I've heard the argument that pot should be legal because cigarettes are, and "pot isn't any worse." Does anyone really think that cigarettes are legal because they're safe? I hope not. I think most people are aware of how dangerous smoking is. Cigarettes are only legal because the tobacco industry is big business. The government is not particularly interested in keeping us safe, as this new idea to save the economy has proved. And hey, if everyone is all mellowed out in their pot-induced comas, they can do whatever they want, and we won't even notice. Be useful. Don't get sucked into this. I am scared to see what will happen if this becomes reality.

you get right under my skin...

I am not going to blame myself for the things people have done to me.

I will not let them do these things again.

I promise.

please please please get a life

So I just saw a commercial for the latest season of Toddlers and Tiaras, and it had some quote about how watching the show makes someone feel like a good mother. Needless to say, my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I have gone blind, and typing this is difficult. Yes, because spending time with your beloved child, and spending money on them, and sharing an activity you both enjoy... that clearly makes you such a bad mother. I could understand a dumb quote like that after watching a particularly heinous episode of Wife Swap, or Jon & Kate, or maybe one of those nanny shows... but Toddlers and Tiaras? And why do you need a show to tell you that you're a good mother, anyway? My new quote these days has become "If you have to ask...", and I feel like this kind of applies here. More like "If you have to use a random show to decide whether or not you're a good mother..."

Also, I have another complaint, and I don't really care if this makes me seem jealous, because I know I'm not. But seriously? If all you can do is spend your whole life bragging about where you went to college, or an award you won twenty years ago (unless it's the Nobel Peace Prize, I suppose), or some famous person you met in an airport... I have to start to wonder if you've ever done anything else. Feel free to mention those things in conversation, and possibly expand on them a bit, but don't spend all day, every day talking about those things. You don't look cool, you just look boring and self-centered.

That's all for now...