Do you ever feel that if you talk about something-- make it real, or acknowledge it-- that it just won't happen? I feel like that right now. But I should feel pretty good. Class was cancelled today, and my sister is coming home, and it's (almost) Easter. All good things. But the most exciting thing... the thing I'm afraid to make real, because I want it so much... is on Monday. On Monday, I have an audition. And it will go well, because it needs to go well. I keep trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and this needs to be the reason.
So I need to figure out what to wear to that. And also, what to wear to the wedding that's coming up very soon. And I can't stop thinking about thigh-high boots, but somehow I feel like that would be appropriate for neither occasion. It's funny; we were talking about attention in my child development class yesterday, and the professor started asking the girl in front of me what she was thinking about. And she said something normal, like how she had to go to work later. I was just glad she didn't call on me; "thigh-high tan leather boots" would have been a very odd answer to that question.
So now I have things to do later, things to take my mind off the things I don't want to think about. I need to shop tomorrow, and buy an outfit (or two) and shoes (or twelve) because there is an amazing shoe sale at the store I'm going to. (Maybe I'll get my boots... yeah, not likely...) I also need to set up my GPS, because I can't afford to get lost on my way to the audition. And I should get a haircut, because I've been putting it off for months, but I know I won't do that. Trichotillomania is not really conducive to a good haircutting experience, and I also don't want to be told "OMG honey you need to dye your hair!!!!!!! You can't be 20 years old and going white!" Yeah, sorry, I am. Deal with it. I have.
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