Who would I be if I hadn't devoted my life to acting? Not acting in its real sense; I haven't been on a stage to act in so long. What I mean is, my life is a stage, and has been since I was at least fourteen. When I was younger, too. So many times, so many things I have said and done... it was all acting. When I was younger, I knew too much and knew I didn't act as "young" as other kids my age. So I said silly things to make people smile, tried to distract them with my cuteness, and it worked. Then I took a break for a few years, because I just couldn't fit in during those years no matter how hard I tried. Once I hit about fourteen or so, I knew what to do seemingly overnight; how to do my hair, what color eyeshadow to wear, what kind of shoes... everything. I didn't say things I wanted to say, touched boys I never wanted to touch, listened to other people lie and knew I would never call them on it. From commission to (mostly) omission.
I'm at another stage of my life where I just can't act anymore. All the things I used to ignore, I just can't, no matter how hard I try. I've learned that most people are acting as well, but they seem to be better at it than I am. They'll act for their whole lives, when I can only act for a few years at a time. And I can't help but wonder: who would I be if I weren't an actor?
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